Samantha Massey

It was a week before Christmas 1993 when Sam met Scott at a nightclub in Bury. Two weeks later, she moved in with him. This lightning romance began a 22-year journey that would include joy—the birth of their daughter—but also deep tragedy.

After years of trauma, Sam is finally in a position to share her story, revealing how PTSD can impact family members and cause long-lasting, intergenerational effects.

A Life Changed by PTSD

Sam grew up in Bury, one of six children. Her childhood was already impacted by her parents’ divorce, and she was dealing with anxiety when she met Scott. She knew he had served in the Gulf with the British Army—but not that he was suffering from PTSD.

As Scott’s mental health declined, their relationship became tumultuous. After baby Chelsea was born, they tried to make things work, but Scott was eventually sectioned under the Mental Health Act. A long period of fear and instability followed.

Scott would be sectioned three times in the following years, but became adept at eluding mental health services. Sam struggled to protect herself and Chelsea. For two decades, she felt like she was in hiding.

“I tried to help him,” she says. “I’d check in with friends or call his hospital if he lost it. But it got harder when we had to move. Moving kept us safe—but it also meant we were isolated.”

Loss and Breakdown

On New Year's Day 2017, Scott took his own life. Sam got the call at 2 a.m. “It just hit me like a ton of bricks.” Her anxiety and OCD spiraled. She was overwhelmed with constant worrying and checking.

“I was ringing school to check my son was safe. I wouldn’t let my daughter out—even though she was 24 at the time.” The stress became unbearable. “The kids were in tears saying, ‘Mum, we can’t cope with you like this anymore.’”

Reaching Out to PTSD Resolution

As the anniversary of Scott’s death approached, Sam called PTSD Resolution. She was reassured to hear that therapy was available for Veterans’ family members—free, local, and prompt.

“They actually got me in the day before his anniversary,” she says. “Honestly, they have been amazing. I cannot recommend them enough.”

Diagnosed with severe PTSD herself, Sam finally had an explanation for years of suffering. “Over the years I’ve seen 15 to 20 counsellors—and none of them could take away the fear. None of them helped me cope with it.”

This time was different. Her children noticed a change “virtually straight away,” she says. “I could let my daughter go to work. I wasn’t anxious all the time.”

In a further positive step, Chelsea began counselling through PTSD Resolution. “It’s doing her so much good,” Sam says.

A New Chapter of Strength

Today, Sam says she feels “a million percent better,” and credits her therapist entirely. “I can talk about my past without crying. I can control the restlessness that was taking over my life.”

Therapy gave her coping strategies she now uses to manage not only emotional health but a serious back injury and the stresses of pandemic life.

“We’re in the garden, I’m teaching them how to build things. We’ve got food, we’ve got water. I know we’re safe.”